Jan 30, 2008
Unit 8B Online!
Moved in to my new accommodation smoothly last week, and finally got broadband installed at our place. Will upload some pics of our beloved new home (for the year) in awhile.
Jan 17, 2008
No New Year Resolutions for Thomas!
It's funny how most people who make new year resolutions are the very ones who neglect to fulfill them. From my own experience in the past, I identify myself as one such person, so I'm adamant that I won't make any empty promises to myself this year just to create an illusion that I'm heading somewhere.
Having said that, 2008 has started off pretty well for me. I'm gaining back my old enthusiasm in (good) music, especially since my discovery of Arcade Fire & Spoon at the beginning of the year. A friend of mine expressed his surprise in my venturing into the indie music scene, although I still don't get what 'indie music' sounds like (besides being unconventional of cuz). I have no idea where my music taste will eventually lead me too, but right now, I'm loving the fresh music I've discovered.
I've thought about my choice of studying medicine and all throughout the holidays, and I've decided that it's med school that I truly hate, while I'm still very enthusiastic of my future career as a doctor. So I guess I'll just have to toughen up and stomach thru another 2 years of horror & suffering. I sincerely believe that all the efforts and perseverence will be worth it, in the end of the day.
And I can't help but wondering, how many ppl still read my blog these days. Hah, I can hardly blame anyone but myself in this matter really, as I hardly made any initiatives to update myself with my peers' life. I admit I'm becoming increasingly self-obsessed for the past couple of years, trying to cope with the aftermath of the rejection of my... nvm, that's something that I should only post in the other blog of mine lol.
But I'd appreciate it if faithful visitors to my blog could juz tag something on the tagboard, pleeeease. It's heartbreaking to see no updates on the tagboard after a couple of months (besides the awful spam), and even Thomas get bored of talking to himself once in awhile. You can use whatever pretty nicks u want while you tag, so long as I know that at least, some sentient being is aware that I have posted something lol.
I guess this will be my last post till I fly to Auckland on Friday. Well I'll update more when I'm there then! Quite looking forward to my new accommodation! =)
Having said that, 2008 has started off pretty well for me. I'm gaining back my old enthusiasm in (good) music, especially since my discovery of Arcade Fire & Spoon at the beginning of the year. A friend of mine expressed his surprise in my venturing into the indie music scene, although I still don't get what 'indie music' sounds like (besides being unconventional of cuz). I have no idea where my music taste will eventually lead me too, but right now, I'm loving the fresh music I've discovered.
I've thought about my choice of studying medicine and all throughout the holidays, and I've decided that it's med school that I truly hate, while I'm still very enthusiastic of my future career as a doctor. So I guess I'll just have to toughen up and stomach thru another 2 years of horror & suffering. I sincerely believe that all the efforts and perseverence will be worth it, in the end of the day.
And I can't help but wondering, how many ppl still read my blog these days. Hah, I can hardly blame anyone but myself in this matter really, as I hardly made any initiatives to update myself with my peers' life. I admit I'm becoming increasingly self-obsessed for the past couple of years, trying to cope with the aftermath of the rejection of my... nvm, that's something that I should only post in the other blog of mine lol.
But I'd appreciate it if faithful visitors to my blog could juz tag something on the tagboard, pleeeease. It's heartbreaking to see no updates on the tagboard after a couple of months (besides the awful spam), and even Thomas get bored of talking to himself once in awhile. You can use whatever pretty nicks u want while you tag, so long as I know that at least, some sentient being is aware that I have posted something lol.
I guess this will be my last post till I fly to Auckland on Friday. Well I'll update more when I'm there then! Quite looking forward to my new accommodation! =)
Jan 12, 2008
Survivalism?
The modern man is plagued with complacency. Just think about it. We are so used to be dependent on others for our survival. Imagine one day when banks go bankrupt, food supply runs low, houses destroyed by natural disasters. Only when you're thrown into this unpredictable mess of a situation, will you realize how incompetent you are in basic survival. Or at least, I know I can't.
I think it's time I learn some basic survival skill. I have absolutely no idea where to start, but I should start soon. No I don't have delusions about the collapse of society and the end of the world as we know it, I just refuse to be blissful in my complacency.
I think it's time I learn some basic survival skill. I have absolutely no idea where to start, but I should start soon. No I don't have delusions about the collapse of society and the end of the world as we know it, I just refuse to be blissful in my complacency.
Jan 1, 2008
2008
For the past few months, even at my happiest times, there's an ever-present gloom that constantly weighed me down. And I've come to realize that a part of me has died forever back in 2007. I've finally accepted the fact that med school will forever change me now, without feeling bitter and angry.
It's time to move on from here, and salvage what's left of me. Happy new year Thom. Here's to another year of understanding upon reflection, and anticipation of another year of the unknown, a year yet to be lived.
It's time to move on from here, and salvage what's left of me. Happy new year Thom. Here's to another year of understanding upon reflection, and anticipation of another year of the unknown, a year yet to be lived.
"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forward."
-- Soren Kierkegaard
-- Soren Kierkegaard
Dec 28, 2007
Go Figure
My sister just got her PMR results today. 7A, and 1B for BM. My mum is furious. Yes, go figure. My distaste for Malaysia's education system is only matched by my disgust over parents' obsession toward the numbers of 'A's their children can grab.
Dec 13, 2007
Home
I'm back at my home now. Strange how everything remains so unchanged and familiar... It's as if I've just left this country for a month or so (instead of almost a year). Yet at the same time, I seemed to be a lack a sense of attachment and fondness to my surroundings. It's an awful paradox, remembering things that still stay as they were, yet at the same time you're totally detached from it.
Am I still sane, I wonder...
Am I still sane, I wonder...
Dec 12, 2007
Dec 11, 2007
Dec 8, 2007
Imagine...
Imagine...
You're in a plane, flying back to your home country. You have spent the last 11 months, studying in a foreign country, going into a transition from theoretical knowledge to clinical practice. You went thru a course with an entirely different assessment standards and expectations, which emphasize enthusiasm & participation more than knowledge. You struggled to maintain a balance in excelling in your hospital runs, assignments/case reports, & exams. You persevered thru all of these with diligence, far away from the support of your family back home...
And when you have landed at the airport back home, got your luggage, and reach the arrival gate, you push your trolley to the direction of your family you've just spotted from afar... feeling ashamed that you have failed your year, imagining the disappointment your family must have felt about you, trying not to think about the RM 100,000+ tuition fees that have went down the drain. Your confidence squashed, you feel worthless, and you start to doubt whether studying medicine was the right choice.
But you couldn't turn back now. It's 4 years down the road, and your parents have invested a fortune to bring you to where you are now. You have to push on, try again next year, repeating another stressful and tiring year, all over again. But this time, your friends have move on to another year above you. You still meet up with them and all of course, but you can no longer enjoyed the shared experience of overcoming the obstacles together.
Although I did pass my 4th year, I can't help but feel sad for those among us who did not make it. We've all work hard, and it's painful to see people not getting the reward for their diligence. But we have to move on. I have to move on.
For a career that demands us to be compassionate and empathetic to our patients, it's ironic (if not hypocritic) how much Medicine dehumanize us all (medical students).
You're in a plane, flying back to your home country. You have spent the last 11 months, studying in a foreign country, going into a transition from theoretical knowledge to clinical practice. You went thru a course with an entirely different assessment standards and expectations, which emphasize enthusiasm & participation more than knowledge. You struggled to maintain a balance in excelling in your hospital runs, assignments/case reports, & exams. You persevered thru all of these with diligence, far away from the support of your family back home...
And when you have landed at the airport back home, got your luggage, and reach the arrival gate, you push your trolley to the direction of your family you've just spotted from afar... feeling ashamed that you have failed your year, imagining the disappointment your family must have felt about you, trying not to think about the RM 100,000+ tuition fees that have went down the drain. Your confidence squashed, you feel worthless, and you start to doubt whether studying medicine was the right choice.
But you couldn't turn back now. It's 4 years down the road, and your parents have invested a fortune to bring you to where you are now. You have to push on, try again next year, repeating another stressful and tiring year, all over again. But this time, your friends have move on to another year above you. You still meet up with them and all of course, but you can no longer enjoyed the shared experience of overcoming the obstacles together.
Although I did pass my 4th year, I can't help but feel sad for those among us who did not make it. We've all work hard, and it's painful to see people not getting the reward for their diligence. But we have to move on. I have to move on.
For a career that demands us to be compassionate and empathetic to our patients, it's ironic (if not hypocritic) how much Medicine dehumanize us all (medical students).
Dec 7, 2007
The Call That Never Came
No calls were made from the university to me today = I've passed my 4th year. It's a relief really, but mixed feelings remain as not all of us made it through. Just want to say that I'm thankful to God that I've survive this hell of a year, and... well, no words can convey my sadness to those who didn't make it.
As I've said before, I knew not all of us will make it through this year. As selfish as this may sound, I'm just thankful that it wasn't me.
I will update more about the events leading to this final confirmation later... maybe tomorrow. We'll see.
As I've said before, I knew not all of us will make it through this year. As selfish as this may sound, I'm just thankful that it wasn't me.
I will update more about the events leading to this final confirmation later... maybe tomorrow. We'll see.
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