You would have thought that by sharing a common language, one wouldn't have too much problem with communications and having the "human connection" in a foreign country...
But I'm wrong at that.
Eventhough I've arrive in NZ for a year, I still often feel like the protagonist in Sofia Coppola's Lost in Translation. Feeling alienated, lonely, longed for companionship, yet unable to attain it. It's not like I don't know the easy solution to this dilemma. I could choose to either embrace this foreign culture, or hide myself with my expatriate friends. But I chose to reject both alternatives and accept alienation, for reasons I can't comprehend.
Why is authenticity worth such unhappiness?
Feb 20, 2008
Feb 14, 2008
First, Do No Harm
Valentine's Day 2008. The day that I will hereafter remember as the day I've failed to uphold the first principle in medicine: primum non nocere. To those unfamiliar with the term, it's a Latin phrase meaning "First, do no harm".
While examining a patient's ear with the otoscope (in a rather awkward position), I accidentally turned the handle much too quickly, causing the patient to exclaim in pain and jerked her head to the side. I was as shocked as she was then, as I was very certain that I have not introduced the otoscope too deep into her ear as to hit her eardrum. The doctor, slightly alarmed, proceed to take over the examination from me. I apologized profusely to the patient, and she told me it's alright and all.
After the patient left the clinic, the doctor told me that I've caused 2 small lacerations on her ear canal, one probably from turning the handle too much, while the other was probably caused by her sudden jerking movement. He later corrected me (gently and sternly) about the mistakes I should learn from this. I was burning with guilt and shame then for the rest of the day, hoping that the wounds will recover well, and wondering what permanent effect have I caused from this accident... The patient will probably don't want any med students to examine her for the rest of her life...
My pride is bruised from this incident, and I still feel the burden of guilt and shame as I'm typing this. This will be a day I'll never forget. Valentine's Day 2008.
Primum non nocere.
While examining a patient's ear with the otoscope (in a rather awkward position), I accidentally turned the handle much too quickly, causing the patient to exclaim in pain and jerked her head to the side. I was as shocked as she was then, as I was very certain that I have not introduced the otoscope too deep into her ear as to hit her eardrum. The doctor, slightly alarmed, proceed to take over the examination from me. I apologized profusely to the patient, and she told me it's alright and all.
After the patient left the clinic, the doctor told me that I've caused 2 small lacerations on her ear canal, one probably from turning the handle too much, while the other was probably caused by her sudden jerking movement. He later corrected me (gently and sternly) about the mistakes I should learn from this. I was burning with guilt and shame then for the rest of the day, hoping that the wounds will recover well, and wondering what permanent effect have I caused from this accident... The patient will probably don't want any med students to examine her for the rest of her life...
My pride is bruised from this incident, and I still feel the burden of guilt and shame as I'm typing this. This will be a day I'll never forget. Valentine's Day 2008.
Primum non nocere.
Feb 10, 2008
GP
Still feels a bit weary of life, but at least I'm coping now. When I saw the juniors so full of life and joy, I can't help but feel pity for them. Things gonna change real soon. Really hope they enjoy these last moments of blissfulness, before the whole world starts collapsing on them.
Starting off with 2 weeks of General Practice is OK so far, although the leisurely pace is really testing my patience. Most patients visit the clinic to get their 3-monthly prescription repeats, and I have yet to seen any acute cases after being in the clinic for 3 full days. But it's great to finally get my first observation of a cervical smear, and it's surprising how similar the procedure is to the models we practice on, and yet more difficult in a way (esp when you're trying to locate the cervix).
Quite happy that I'm finally familiar with the opthalmoscope, though I have yet to practice on a dilated pupil. At least I get to learn something. Let's hope things will get more productive next week.
Starting off with 2 weeks of General Practice is OK so far, although the leisurely pace is really testing my patience. Most patients visit the clinic to get their 3-monthly prescription repeats, and I have yet to seen any acute cases after being in the clinic for 3 full days. But it's great to finally get my first observation of a cervical smear, and it's surprising how similar the procedure is to the models we practice on, and yet more difficult in a way (esp when you're trying to locate the cervix).
Quite happy that I'm finally familiar with the opthalmoscope, though I have yet to practice on a dilated pupil. At least I get to learn something. Let's hope things will get more productive next week.
Feb 1, 2008
Another Casualty Along the Road
You lied.
You did not make it.
I wonder why
(the fact you lie).
Yet another casualty along the road.
A comrade on hold.
How many miles left to go?
You did not make it.
I wonder why
(the fact you lie).
Yet another casualty along the road.
A comrade on hold.
How many miles left to go?
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