First, Do No Harm

Valentine's Day 2008. The day that I will hereafter remember as the day I've failed to uphold the first principle in medicine: primum non nocere. To those unfamiliar with the term, it's a Latin phrase meaning "First, do no harm".

While examining a patient's ear with the otoscope (in a rather awkward position), I accidentally turned the handle much too quickly, causing the patient to exclaim in pain and jerked her head to the side. I was as shocked as she was then, as I was very certain that I have not introduced the otoscope too deep into her ear as to hit her eardrum. The doctor, slightly alarmed, proceed to take over the examination from me. I apologized profusely to the patient, and she told me it's alright and all.

After the patient left the clinic, the doctor told me that I've caused 2 small lacerations on her ear canal, one probably from turning the handle too much, while the other was probably caused by her sudden jerking movement. He later corrected me (gently and sternly) about the mistakes I should learn from this. I was burning with guilt and shame then for the rest of the day, hoping that the wounds will recover well, and wondering what permanent effect have I caused from this accident... The patient will probably don't want any med students to examine her for the rest of her life...

My pride is bruised from this incident, and I still feel the burden of guilt and shame as I'm typing this. This will be a day I'll never forget. Valentine's Day 2008.

Primum non nocere.